Code off my porch!

LOCALHOST DETECTED

“I built a website! localhost:3000.”

Granny is not impressed. Defend her porch from vibe coders, bugs, and a growing mountain of TECH DEBT.

App Store release in preparation.

50 levels. One very angry Granny.

Tap and swipe to knock enemies away. Build BONK combos, defeat bosses, and spare cats, the mail carrier, and the tea visitor.

Free campaign. Optional extra firepower.

All 50 levels and five melee weapons are free. One optional permanent Granny Arsenal purchase unlocks both automatic weapons. Offline gameplay, no ads, no required sign-up.

English and Russian voices

Choose English or Russian Granny voice and gameplay dialogue. Menus are currently in Russian. Includes crude humor, profanity, and cartoon violence.